That Drifting Poo Was Way Too Symbolic! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV landscape of the recent year, a handful of shows stand out not for their brilliance, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

The 'Sex and the City' Sequel

Where to begin with this divisive follow-up? Plagued with woeful writing, cringe-inducing character development (justice for Miranda!), and a paltry 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third series began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then came an episode centered on Seema’s natural deodorant. No wonder the showrunner announced this would be the final season. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s toilet full of poo was just way too symbolic. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – once again single – danced around her sprawling townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was practically the least of this show's issues. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon no-star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing veneration of affluence and materialism? The almost wilful procession of tropes? Acting so bad they felt borderline spiteful? Suffice it to say “each and every one” and forget about this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re probably going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not you’d truly have known it from this multi-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of self-destructive excess while struggling to tell us a single thing we weren't already aware of. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being indulged, so any pity this show might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but flippant narcissist.

The Supercomputer Drama

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the get-go: a drama about a AI known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We persevered out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had stopped bothering. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ended up slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. That's what you call admitting defeat.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter blaring in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

Actually, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the embarrassment of having to indulge unconvincing dialects. But there were many other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt a bit basic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Considering the degree to which she provokes the ire of the nation’s ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into quaint homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you view them and are forced to admit that actually, they might have a point. It’s like watching a homeware catalogue animated; a meme for wine o’clock with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All underpinned by immense, largely undeserved wealth. Ugh.

Victoria Beckham

There are clearly interesting things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with vocation, self-image, self-acceptance. But for some reason, this documentary series chose not to explore them. Instead, the experience was akin to reading a marketing brochure. She obviously has every right to resent what she describes as her “stern” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any helps with this guarded letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next big hit – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you ask for? As players battled it out, there was plenty of betrayal and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s still too complicated to detail what precisely was happening. Even more disappointingly, we only saw brief appearances of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up reeking of a production that was straining desperately to emulate something way beyond it.

The Lena Dunham Romcom

How does one follow a show that captured a generation? The pressure was immense for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress took her biggest role by the horns and was joyous to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt icky.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it didn’t land. A particular sketch was a one-note joke milked to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known ranting mode. The writing room sketches, meanwhile, simply inspired the thought that they should probably have stayed in there a bit longer.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox

This retelling of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much exclusively presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the tragic 2007 murder, this isn’t it. The material needed to be handled with care. Instead, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly jaunty, slightly stylised farce to inevitably, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We admire the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the most brilliant maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This globe-trotting thriller about government agencies spying on – and eliminating – intellectuals honestly got more farcical by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

1000 Men and Me: The Bonnie Blue Story

This uncritical portrait followed the online personality notorious for sexual exploits as she undertook her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would motivate her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her actual psyche, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the now-famous mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her notoriety whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the filmmaker has a young daughter too.