Should A Wannabe Content Creator Friend Cease Exploiting Me for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my career in design, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?